Harry Potter and the Foreign Exchange students
by Mr. Bigg
Summary: Pimping stuff for fun and profit


Disclaimer: Yeah. I'm actually J.K. Rowling. I own the whole damn series, and I could sell this story for millions, but I'd rather post it on some rinky-dink site.  
  
Only idiots can see this sentence.  
  
Harry sighed contentedly as he sat in his chair. The beginning of the school year had a feeling all its own, as it offered chances to start again, to improve, and to dump smelly things into Draco Malfoy's hair 'by accident'. Ron and Hermione were off doing, well, whatever it was that Prefects do. Old friends and new friends chatted loudly as Dumbledore rose to make his usual speech. Dumbledore coughed into his fist, cleared his voice, and began talking in with his magically amplified voice:  
  
"Let those who feel unwelcomed be welcomed, and let those who are returning be welcomed back. I would like for those who feel hungry be filled, but we have some ground rules to cover. As usual, the Forbidden Forest lives up to his namesake. I don't suggest you go there," he said, looking in Harry's direction. Harry blushed as he sunk into his seat. Dumbledore rambled on as Harry vacantly stared. There wasn't a real point to him listening, because he'd most likely end up breaking the rules anyways. The sorting ceremony then commenced, and Dumbledore picked up where he left off. As Dumbledore neared the end of his prattle, Harry concluded his zone-out.  
  
"I knew you'd all be hungry by now, so I'll make this brief: In light of the Triwizard Tournament, the Ministry of Magic has decided to boost foreign relationships with our Wizarding friends oversea. To do this, we have invited a number of exchange students to attend Hogwarts for a year," Dumbledore said. He opened his mouth to say more, but suddenly the doors to the great hall burst open and a large gaggle of teenagers, wearing various robes identifying them with their schools. "I see they have begun to arrive. Will the Prefects please escort each group to their appointed table?" Dumbledore requested.  
  
Harry craned his neck to get a look at the new arrivals, as did everyone else. He saw the group split into three groups, each led by a Prefect from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin. Harry saw Ron and Hermione waiting expectantly at the front of the room. Harry supposed Gryffindor's guests haven't showed up, so he went up to them to see what was going on.  
  
"Hey Harry!" Ron said as he approached. "'Lo Ron. What's going on with this exchange thing?" Harry asked. "Well, four schools in the Americas sent over 6 representatives. The ones who stay with Gryffindor are from The Bramwell Academy of Arcane Sorcery. It's a school for witches and wizards with.. er, unusual powers," Hermione explained. "What's that mean?" Harry asked. "Well, usually the people that go there have natural magic abilities that endanger others. The most common people that go there are Empaths, and that's because they can manifest thoughts. But I hear the group we're getting has an Elemagus in it!" Hermione said excitedly. "Yeah, that's great Hermione, but it looks like they aren't going to show," Ron said.  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!!!!!" A voice boomed, making everything in the Great Hall shake. All other activity came to a standstill, as other voices were heard. "Is anyone here? I thought I heard voices," One voice said. "Yeah, well, you also thought you saw demonic horses outside, so I wouldn't trust your senses," A second replied. "They were real! I tried to give one some candy and it nearly took my friggin' hand off!" The first retorted. "Hey, calm down you two. And if you see anything worth stealing, let me know," A third said. "Ms. Granger, I think you and Mr. Weasley might want to fetch our guests, hmm?" Mrs. McGonnagall said as she walked over. When she was closer she added, "And do it quickly!" Ron and Hermione quickly made their way out of the Great Hall, and returned a few minutes later with a group of six teenage boys carrying all sorts of luggage.  
  
At the sight of food, they immediately dropped their bags and made for to the table. Hermione, Ron and Harry followed, sitting down next to them. "Hi, I'm Hermione Granger. I'm one of the prefects of Gryffindor house," Hermione said, smiling brightly as she extended her hand. The one closest to her, a rather tall boy with long sideburns, accepted it. "Hey, I'm Finn Sturges," He replied, and he gestured to his masticating schoolmates. "The pale gentleman on my right is named Blake McTaggert; the guy in desperate need of a haircut can be referred to as Wayne Hudson; the human bear and his brother are- FUCK!" Finn yelped as the 'human bear' punched him off his seat. "This is my brother Lawrence. My name's Ishmael. Call me Largo," 'Largo' grunted. "Call me Lars. Try not to piss Largo off," Lars said between gulps. "And I'm Zach Tate," The last boy said, smiling at Hermione. Hermione blushed and looked down at her plate.  
  
"Oh crap. You might want to give her some warm water. That's the only way to counter it," Wayne said. "Uh.. counter what?" Ron asked as he stared at Hermione, who started to drool. "Uh, Zach goes Bramwell because he's half possessed by an Incubus. By the end of the day he'll probably seduce the female half of the school by accident," Blake explained. "An Incubus?" Harry asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Yeah. They're like, ghosts who can trick women into doing the nasty," Finn said. "Ghost..sex?" Ron asked. "Yeah. It's that screwed up. So, where is everyone going?" Zach asked. Hermione shook her head, as if coming out of a trance. "Well, it's time to go to bed. We'll show you your dorm," she said as she made her way out of the Great Hall. The new students got up and followed her. As Largo negotiated his way through the chairs, however, he banged his knee. He swore and cradled his knee. As he tended to his injury, all the mugs on the Gryffindor table exploded.  
  
Harry yawned as he made his way to the common room. Between sex ghost students and a guy who could apparently explode stuff by thought (not to mention whatever the other new students could do), it looked like it would be an interesting year. 


End file.
